Writing Wings For You

Marie Lukasik Wallace ~ # I LIVE Poetry – I'm passionate about life and writing and all things creative and poetic!


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An Unlikely Love

I remember the first day I met you…
I didn’t like your kind.
You were sweet.
I was cautious.
Didn’t want to love you or even like you.
But you had your charm… your way of working into a heart with subtlety.

And here I am…
grateful for your patience your confidence
that I would fall in love with you…
I did.
Fifteen years later after finding you on the playground, I not only managed to love you,
but I learned to love your kind…
cats.
My dearest Recess…
you have given me hope for the world.

And I will continue in my
search for the gold.


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A Love Story – Aubade and Helianthus

Helianthus was but a shy seedling when they met

folded up and shut in

But Aubade was tender, patient and caressing

encouraging her to open up

And take in loving energy

She trusted.

He kissed her full on

and showed her loving ways

Her smitten heart fluttered

and soon she followed him

day in….day out

Emboldened to seek him in ways never sought before

for love’s intensity

Not a moment went by when she didn’t seek his light.

Never had she felt so much like a woman.

Standing tall

standing open

Hearts entwined

Souls entwined

The truth of the moment

explored and expressed

She whispered to him,

“I could stay forever in your arms

keep the world away and

your love in.”

They frolicked and danced

all their early days of summer

soaking their love in

In the Autumn of their lives,

Helianthus felt the distance of her lover

she saw him less and less as he sought

the promise of western skies

and new loves.

Then, only one was left in love.

When Aubade left,

her face continued ever seeking

until she could reach his light no more

her knees crumbled

and she fell face down to the ground

h e a r  t     b r o k e n.

Her tombstone read

“She had given all.”

And the earth wept

for her goodness was gone.

A love story of my fabulous sunflowers withering away because their sun has left them.

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Can You Take me Back Daddy?

This is how I know there’s gold in every soul.  I think back on m relationship with my dad.  What I remembered as a child…both the open man and the closed man…and then I remember the man I knew as an adult.  Most of the time closed…but there were glimpses of gold in the soul.

I wrote this recently as a pondering.  What I like is that it pointed out to me where the walls were starting to form…the prison my dad built around him.  How I was so blessed the last couple of years that the walls started to get holes in them…and then I saw shiny gold peeking out.

If I could go back to any

Moment in time

What would it be?

I think this summer

When it was

Just you and me

 

We talked so freely

Just you and me

And I imagined how

It must have been

When I was a baby

And you cradled me

And you cooed with me

And life was simpler

Before you knew

You world was crumbling

And that people weren’t happy

Before your tenderness

Was crushed by the weight

Of real life

Before you knew that the love

Of your life wasn’t as happy as you.

Could you take me there daddy?

 

I want to know what

It was like before

The monstrous voice of the drink

Allowed you to say things

That were not really you

When the hurt unleashed

And lashed out on anyone

In its path

 

Somehow I always knew

That it wasn’t you

On those cold dark days

How?

Because there were

Those quiet moments

When you taught us

Poker and dominoes

And we sat around

Like a family

And laughed and played

As if there were no cares

In the world

 

Can you take me back there daddy?

May you find gold in the soul of all those you love.  Where would you like the time machine to take you?


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Love is…

Michael from The Poetry Channel introduced me to this challenge, and I love both challenges and the topic of love.  (I am a hopeless romantic.)   I wrote it, but then I was gone all weekend.  It may still need some tweaking, and I most certainly want to write another version, because well…you can’t talk enough about the magic of loving another beautiful soul, right?

Love exemplifies beauty

Love sings acceptance

Love envelopes harmony

Love connects spirits

  Love IS…no words

Love breaks barriers

Love softens rigidity

Love bonds hearts

Love communes souls

Love IS… beyond words

Since I’ve been a little out of the loop and don’t have enough people to nominate to do the challenge, I am putting it out there for you to decide if you’d like to take the challenge on yourself.  Here are the parameters.  AND…happy writing!

And don’t forget to check out Michael.  He’s a marvelous poet.

You’ll hear from me again on this topic.  I’m positive!

Have a GRAND week.

Marie


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Love Your Peeps – A True Story of Alzheimer’s

Many of you know that I’ve been racing against time and Alzheimer’s in getting my dad’s story.  Sadly, my time is coming to an end.  This disease is so cruel.

Two weeks ago, I had sent my daddy two chapters of the book I was writing about him.   I was excited because I had worked really hard on them, and listened carefully to his recordings to get things down just right.

It’s not easy to write about someone who’s feelings are tightly vaulted, and who has often been very critical in my life, AND he’s my father.  I wanted to get it right.   He called me and said, “Shame on you.”  I freaked out wondering what I had said that could cause him to be upset.  Had I gotten details wrong?  Did I send the right story?

Then he continued.  Sheepishly he said, “You made me cry.  You wrote that as if you had been there.”

Inside, my heart was dancing.  He liked it!  I had gotten this most sacred portion of his story right!  Yippee!

Then, he said the ultimate, something I’ve waited for all my life, “I am proud of you.”  Shocked, I gasped and replied, “Thank you daddy.  That means a lot to me.”

A little later he said I was a good writer.   Yes, you can tell me that I really don’t need his approval, and I would agree…but there’s some part of a human that wants this approval.  I was elated and on a high…The next day, I got the call that my dad had a stroke.

The moment was bitter sweet.  I got to embrace the sweetness for such a short while.   And then, I got to find out how unmerciful Alzheimer’s really is.  And, I got to see some of it’s beauty.

I saw my dad as he must have been as a little boy…playful, fun, joyful.   And then I saw it bring him to his knees.

He begged me to bust him out of the hospital…he knew,though no one had said anything to him.  He knew that he would go from rehab to the nursing home.

So, I got to celebrate the small things, like dancing to Carole King’s, “I Feel the Earth Move under My Feet,”  even if it was only one hand.  I was grateful for any movement. It was joyous to see the joy in his face and know he could have some happiness in his life.

This past week when I called, he could only mumble undiscernible sounds.  I could hear him try to communicate with me, but he couldn’t.  Through the phone, I felt his disappointment, and it crushed me…we had had our own language, and now we had to learn a new language to communicate.

Throughout my busy week, it was conference week, I sent messages from my heart to my dad.  And when it was my last conference on Thursday, I called again.  I knew he couldn’t talk so I just talked on the phone while he made sounds…attempting to hear changes in tone or rhythm to see if I could understand.  I was determined to find a way.  But I didn’t succeed.  I was grateful he at least knew I was there and could make some sound.

Then yesterday came…I was sure I had devised a way we could communicate and had created a signal he could use to let me know how he was doing…but yesterday, he couldn’t make a sound…Not one audible sound.  The phone just laid there.  I couldn’t even tell by his breathing how he felt.  It’s funny that the little girl in me still wanted a physical connection.  I kept talking in hopes he could still hear me.  I believe he could, and I told him that I would see him in 4 days. It doesn’t feel soon enough because it’s happening so fast.

The moral of the story:  Love your peeps…hold them tight, squeeze them tight, love love love them with all your might…you never know how long you have them.  And be grateful…grateful for their touch, grateful for their smiles and movement, and yes, even their undiscernible sounds…because it’s still of the physical world, and it’s still a connection.

I love you daddy…hang in there until I can see you.

Ree

 

 


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Sacred Sunday

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I have been blessed so much this week.  My heart is full of gratitude.

#3   We got to raft the river and feel peace and calm and I heard my daughters giggling together and we “played” with each other Oar battles and water battles and just great company.  I remember what it’s like to feel that peace of the river where nothings exists but the here and the now.  Being present is the only thing you can do.   I get to do that more often.

#2  I have a husband who loves me and honors me.  He knows this week is a busy week for me.  He just says, “go ahead and take care of what you need to take care.  You and me are good.  I’ll be here when you get back.”  (Because when I go into school mode I’m in another dimension.

#1  And the best part is that after 8 months, I finally get to see my Kendra girl.  Alabama is too far away sometimes.  It’s hard for a mama because I went from seeing her everyday to seeing her a couple of times a year.    But when she’s here, I get to love love love upon her and it feels yummy.

I have a collaboration post for this afternoon from another wonderful blogger, so stay tuned….but after that, I might be off the grid for awhile.  The first two weeks of school are pretty busy.  Wish me luck!  ~Love ya, Marie


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Today’s Inention

    sunflowers up close

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.~Maya Angelou
 

Today, I get to go out on the river and just be.  My intention is to be present and enjoy my beautiful family.  I will soak them in like the sun and breathe their laughter..   ~Marie