Writing Wings For You

Marie Lukasik Wallace ~ # I LIVE Poetry – I'm passionate about life and writing and all things creative and poetic!

Digging for Gold in the Soul – #1

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My daddy has been a vaulted man for most of my life.  I never understood why.  I only knew that as a child and an adult I yearned for him to talk to me…tell me things about him.  The child in me longed for the stories and the adventures.   But the human in me wanted a deeper relationship, to talk and go do things together.  There’s something about a little girl and her daddy, or at least what I interpreted from watching my friends with their dads.

It’s been 3 years since I’ve began my quest to get to know daddy.  I can’t tell you what prompted me to begin this journey, but I think it was intuition, or maybe it was that I sat still long enough to listen.  I began with curiosity and a book.  The book had questions in it.  As I perused the book, I realized that I didn’t know a lot of basic things about my dad.  Sure there were the obvious things I didn’t know like our family tree and how he met my mom or why she left.  But really I didn’t even know simple things like his favorite color or favorite food or even family traditions.

I told dad about the book and showed it to him.  He looked at it curiously.  “What do you think dad?” I asked hopefully, and he answered, “sure, I could probably do that.”   Inside, I was elated, and I wanted to grab him and hug him, but I knew I didn’t want to scare him.  He was like a frightened  deer talking about anything more than the weather and fishing and/or tractors. 

The first year was peppered with just a few questions here and there, about every few days or sometimes just once a week.  At first, I could only ask daddy really simple questions like family tree information or things he liked or didn’t like.  That was safe enough.

However, if I asked a question that was too deep, he feigned an “I don’t know” or a “I have to go and fix dinner now”  or “I’ll get back to that” (which he never did.)  I could hear in his voice that I had hit a nerve and the pain was too raw to look at.  Those were days he had looked at once and tucked away for good.

But there was something that kept him coming back.  Was it that every one of us wants to leave a legacy of some sort?  Is it that everyone wants to leave some small part of themselves in this world to know they had not lived their life in vein?  

Also, at first, daddy would only answer the questions that were in the book.  If I was there in person, he would peek over to make sure the question was in the book.  He still didn’t trust me, and that was okay.  Fortunately for me, I knew that I shouldn’t go off track, or he might not talk anymore.  Actually, most of the time I worried if one day he would just stop answering questions.  And I realized that worry didn’t serve me.  I was learning more about dad than I ever had.  It was these little gold nuggets that I kept digging up.  Like gold, you cherish each little bit you find, even the flecks.

Fast forward three years, to last night.  I chatted just a short chat with my daddy before he went to bed.  I helped him calm his fears because nighttime is evil to him.  (He has Sundowners.)  And I told him, “I love you daddy and sleep well.”   His words back to me were simple, but went straight to the heart.

                           “Thanks for being nice to me.”

Wow.  Six little words that startled me into reality.  Isn’t that what we ALL want?  …someone to be nice to us, especially in a world that is sometimes cruel.  We just want to know someone cares.  And sometimes it’s in the simple things…talking on the phone and ask them about themselves.  Daddy responded, as I think I would, grateful that someone was nice to me.  It’s always been a journey for me to find the gold in every soul I meet, even those I might not care for or understand…it’s there.  Now it’s my mission to find it and cherish it all people.  There are so many treasures I have yet to meet.

                                   Got a shovel?  It’s time to dig!

*Disclaimer:  I am not saying this will work for every person.  But I do know this, that most of the time when you take the time to listen and ask questions, that people respond.  Sometimes you have to sift through the response to see what is there, and look deep for what this person is offering you, no matter how small.    

Have a most blessed day my fellow friends,

~Nemaste,  Marie

Author: writingwingsforyou

Words are powerful and hold the keys to bring healing, play and joy, making life extrordinary. Words can also shift the world into a better place. I am a writer; a storyteller and a relatioship coach; buidling better relationships from the inside out so we can have more joy, communication and love in our lives. Let's explore! Let's create! . ~ Love, Marie Lukasik Wallace

17 thoughts on “Digging for Gold in the Soul – #1

  1. Good for you for trying to excavate your dad’s stories. So many of us wait too long to find out what we would so much like to know.

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    • Thank you LuLu. It’s quite the journey!
      Some days are easier than others…but it’s that way for all of us. Right?
      Just keep digging…just keep digging…a little ditty that came to me…hee hee.
      Like Dory from Finding Nemo. thanks for stopping by! :0) Marie

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  2. I am amazed my friend that you are excavating this precious gold. The last few years of your Dad’s life will be a memory you will cherish forever because you have spent time with him, sharing your love for him and his retuning to you in ways you would have never known if you had not gone on this journey. I stand proud of another friend who has taken the time to go below the surface where the the gold and gems are found. God bless you on this journey Marie!

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  3. That was touching…Often parents are just parents. We refuse to see them as human beings with the same wants desires insecurities and frailties like any of us. we forget that though their story is almost over.. they too have a story … and they are willing to tell it to someone who is willing to just ..listen. All the best.. happy digging ..may you be blessed by nuggets everyday.

    Another thing – I see you always say Nemaste. Is it the Indian greeting you are using? I am an Indian and proud to be one. Just asked that all. cheers!

    Namaste

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    • You are right. We don’t think of our parents as having those same fears and insecurities and that their experiences affect their decisions. When my dad said thank for being nice, it really jolted me into reality…And thanks for your blessings.

      I am not Indian. But there are so many sacred things about your culture that I love. Namaste was a word that I learned many years ago that said so much more than “I love you.” It spoke of honor and respect for another’s spirit and honoring the God within. Namaste touches me to my very core.
      I can’t help but wonder if more people valued other human kind in this way that we would be closer to world peace.
      Namaste to you dear friend.

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  4. You are such a beautiful soul Marie. I can just imagine how proud of you your daddy is. Bless you.

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  5. My dad will tell us stories every now & again. I love listening to things about his life growing up…
    Keep enjoying your dad’s stories & his time.

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  6. I could connect myself well to the emotions displayed since MY father has been always very close to me. I still ask him so many questions and he patiently replies each one of them. I like the message conveyed ‘It’s time to dig’. How was your weekend? missed you on my pages.

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    • Hello my dear friend. I loved hearing about you with your dad. How I long to have that kind of relationship with my dad where he just openly tells stories and patiently answers my questions…but I can say I am so grateful for I have been blessed with so much more than I ever dreamed…I do hope to hear more about you and your dad in the future…it makes my heart smile.
      I have so much to say about my weekend..I missed being on your page too! Monday I started back to getting my school ready because kids come next week, and my daughter comes on Thursday. She happens to be visiting while I’m at school. :{ And I want to absorb all I can from her…haven’t seen her for 8 months! I have yet to figure out how I will juggle all this because I love my writing friends. I shall pop on over! Thanks for your warm comments. You made my day. ~Namaste, Marie

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I wish I would have done that with mine… Such lovely moments to treasure…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes, they are. I am grateful every day, even if it doesn’t quite look the way I want it or think it should happen.
    Thanks for your sweet reply. :0) Marie

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  9. We have special people in our lives who we only need to reach out to make both of us “whole” again.
    Marie, you did a wonderful thing for your Dad. You will never forget these prescious moments nor will he, in his deep recesses in his mind.
    You will meet your father as a whole person someday and this thank you will be even more emotional. Your story made me cry.

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    • My dearest friend, such kind words. I didn’t see them when you posted them, but I’m a true believer that the right words come when we need them most.
      Thank you for taking the time to share with me and remind me that there is so much more to come…that my dad got to take his love and memories with him.
      Namaste. (I’ll stop by later and visit!)

      Liked by 1 person

      • No rush and very happy to been able to reach out and like those old phone ads would express, “touch someone.” You know I sometimes am sporadic in responses and fall behind in reading. Life, your personal mental health and family take priority. ♡

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